I'm not so busy
I'm not so busy
Finding peace in publicly admitting I'm not so busy and a few other interesting things.
I've spent the past three years healing from my loss, finding myself in a new place, doing things that bring me joy, learning new things, and trying to figure stuff out.
In October 2020, my husband and I, and our dog Archibald, moved to Escondido, California. We used to live in Guatemala, where I’m originally from. During my first year in America, I couldn't work because I didn't have a permit. In my second year, I had a tough time finding a job that I liked, and that gave me the flexibility to do things important to me, like traveling to my home country to visit my mother a few times a year. After a while, I gave up and took a break from job searching. Finding a good job when you've never worked in the US is challenging. So instead, I've spent the past three years healing from my loss, finding myself in a new place, doing things that bring me joy, learning new things, and trying to figure stuff out. All the while asking myself, what do I want to do with my life for the next 40+ years?
Back in Guatemala, I had a great job that made me feel important. When I moved to the United States, I willingly let that job go, and that was really hard. It was hard for many reasons that I won't get into. It was hard because I loved what I did, I missed the people I worked with daily, and because my identity was no longer attached to it. If I wasn't that person anymore, then who? No longer having this job that defined who I was for so long, was something that I also had to grieve.
I'm not so busy, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But that wasn’t always the case. In the beginning, I would feel embarrassed when people asked me what I did for work, finding myself giving long explanations of why I didn't. I don't need to explain myself to anybody, and neither should you. These past three years, I've enjoyed ample leisure time. I've done a lot of home cooking, I've spent a lot of time with my dog, I've visited many a cute coffee shop and thrift stores, I've done volunteer work, I've served at church, I've been to my home country several times, I've spent time with family and friends, and now I'm driving across the country with my husband (more on that later), and I'm studying graphic design online. Basically, I've used my time however I wanted to. There's a time for everything under the sun. Life can change overnight. I could become swamped tomorrow for all I know. Next week I could be writing about how, suddenly, my life became hectic, boasting about how busy I am, buying agendas that shout it out to the world. But, for now, I'm not so busy, and I’m still worthy.
One day, when the time comes, I will return to being actively involved in doing something that I love, where I can apply my skills and talents in the service of others. Yes, I do miss the days when I used to go back home feeling exhausted after a long day working on a campaign or lookbook production. I loved being in action, producing, styling, and directing. Mostly, I miss working with my creative friends. I miss them so much.
We're not what we do. Our jobs do not define us. Not being so busy has allowed me the time and the freedom to start this project, which I am very excited about. It means the world to me that you're here.
Keep believing, keep being the best you can be, and when the time comes and you feel a fire burning, go and chase your dreams, don’t slow down, and never stop.
I want to end this story by saying this. If you feel like you're living under your true potential, don't feel bad. Be patient. Be kind to yourself, and don't get discouraged or distracted. Keep believing, keep being the best you can be, and when the time comes and you feel a fire burning, go and chase your dreams, don’t slow down, and never stop. Don't wait for everything around you to be perfect. Just do it! And once you do, have more patience. Things take time to grow. Enjoy the process. The process is good. The process will change you forever.
What I'm listening to
I've been diligently listening to the motivating Mel Robbins Podcast. Listening to Mel encouraged me to start this newsletter. If you follow Mel, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t follow Mel, do it now. Thank you, Mel, for being a North Star.
What I've been obsessing about
Now that I live in a warm and humid place, I’m never not looking for a summer dress, and since I’ve never met a stripe I didn’t like, I’m in love with this Natalie Martin Jerusha Mini Dress.
I think the only thing I might collect are cookbooks. And since I will buy any cookbook Mina Stone recommends, this one is on my list.
In 2021 I bought the coolest velcro sandals from Camper Lab. I’ve worn them so much that they are almost on their last leg—these ones by Teva seem like the perfect replacement. I love them.
Everything Lisa Corti for the house, especially the table cloths. These placemats are so beautiful, and they’re 50% off at Matches.
I’ve wanted to buy this Sowden Kettle by HAY for E-V-E-R. HAY makes some of the coolest kitchen and tabletop goods. The French Press Brewer is also on my list.
That’s it for today, guys. Next Sunday, I’ll be writing about maxi dresses. There’s a story behind the why. There’s always a story.
At some point, I want to share some of my favorite recipes with you. I’ve been on the move for almost two months (I’ll explain later). It might be another month until I’m finally in my kitchen. Cooking on the move and documenting can be a challenge. Stay here cause sooner or later, it’s coming.
That’s it for today, guys. Enjoy your Sunday. Until next!
I love you. You are awesome. I genuinely believe in you.
xoxo
MC