I'm Not So Busy 2.0
Finding peace in publicly admitting I'm not so busy and a few other interesting things.
Note: This week, I will be sending a few past posts to your inbox. It won’t be too many. From next week onwards, I will send updates only on Sundays.
I published this newsletter post between May and June 2023, and a lot has changed since then. I’m no longer as ‘not so busy’ as I used to be. Now, I teach and study, but I still enjoy doing the things I love. I will share more about how I became busy in an upcoming newsletter post. Stay tuned!
In October 2020, my husband, our dog Archibald, and I moved to Escondido, California. I originally come from Guatemala, where we lived before relocating. During my first year in the U.S., I couldn't work because I didn't have a permit. By my second year, I struggled to find a job that I liked and that offered the flexibility I needed. Eventually, I gave up and took a break from job searching. Finding a good job when you've never worked in the U.S. is challenging. Instead, I have spent the past three years healing from my loss, discovering myself in a new environment, engaging in activities that bring me joy, learning new things, and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life for the next 40 years or more.
I have spent the past three years healing from my loss, discovering myself in a new environment, engaging in activities that bring me joy, learning new things, and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life for the next 40 years or more.
Back in Guatemala, I had a fulfilling job that made me feel valued. Moving to the United States and leaving that job was incredibly difficult for me. It was hard for many reasons, which I won't delve into, but I greatly missed my work and the people I interacted with daily. My identity was deeply tied to that job, and losing it meant I had to confront the question: If I wasn't that person anymore, then who was I? This loss of identity was something I needed to grieve.
I want to acknowledge that I’m not very busy at the moment, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. That wasn’t always the case; in the beginning, I felt embarrassed when people asked what I did for work. I often found myself giving long explanations about why I was not employed. However, I’ve learned that I don’t need to justify myself to anyone, and neither should you. Over the past three years, I've enjoyed a lot of leisure time. I've done a great deal of home cooking, spent quality time with Archibald, visited numerous charming coffee shops and thrift stores, volunteered, helped out at my church, traveled back to Guatemala several times, and cherished moments with family and friends. Currently, I'm on a road trip across the country with my husband, and I’m also studying graphic design online. I’ve chosen to spend my time however I see fit.
Life can change overnight, and I recognize that I could become very busy at any moment. Next week, I might find myself writing about how hectic my life has become, excitedly showcasing my packed schedule. But for now, I'm content with this phase of not being so busy, and I understand that I am still worthy.
One day, when the time is right, I will return to actively doing something I love—applying my skills and talents to serve others. I truly miss the days of going home exhausted after long hours working on campaigns or lookbook productions. I loved being in action, producing, styling, and directing. Most of all, I miss collaborating with my creative friends; I miss them deeply.
It's important to remember that we are not defined by our jobs. Not being busy has given me the time and freedom to embark on this exciting project, which means a great deal to me. I’m grateful that you’re here to share this journey with me.
Keep believing, strive to be the best version of yourself, and when the time comes and you feel a spark of motivation, go after your dreams. Don’t hesitate—just do it!
To conclude, I want to share this: If you feel like you are not reaching your true potential, don’t be hard on yourself. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and don’t get discouraged or distracted. Keep believing, strive to be the best version of yourself, and when the time comes and you feel a spark of motivation, go after your dreams. Don’t hesitate—just do it! And once you take action, remember to have more patience. Good things take time to develop. Enjoy the process; it’s worthwhile and will transform you in ways you may not expect.
What I’m listening to…
Last year, during one of the most challenging times in my life, I listened to the "Equip and Empower" podcast with Christine Cane constantly—both in the morning and in the afternoon. I was so captivated that I went through every single episode. Listening to her encouraging messages was much more uplifting than dwelling on my troubled mind.
I learned that we must do everything in our power to heal our hearts. This includes spending time with Jesus, attending church, building a supportive community, serving others, seeking counseling, and even taking medication if that's what your body needs. The condition of your heart is everything.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23
Every day, I ask God to heal my heart and my emotions. Do everything you possibly can to heal your heart, and let God do his part. Healing takes time, so be patient, and kind to yourself.
I hope you enjoyed reading this newsletter post; perhaps you can relate to it in one way or another. If you liked this story, consider sharing it with someone who might enjoy it too.
Maria thank you for your newsletter, it has been very encouraging for me, I'm starting a business and your words gave me new strength to keep walking in this new path for me. Again, thank you very much!! Looking forward for your next newsletter!!